"Tried All I Knew To
What I am about to tell you has to do with Exodus 18:17,18,
it's what I was going through in my life, as well as it has to do with Moses.
Ever since I can remember like when I was 14 years old or so, when I
first left home, and I grew up a few years. I got my drivers license and which I
think then I was like 17 or 18. I started going places, visiting family, people in
my family, etc.
I have always been wanting to make people happy, make them smile ever
since I was little, and I am 51 now and still love doing my best to make people
happy, and see a smile on their faces. Ever since I was little I have always been a
happy child and giddy, and being a silly girl, funny and was filled with so much
joy and happiness, just to see people laugh and smile. I was always the one to be
able to bounce back if something sad happened or there was some fussing going on,
or people treating me wrong.
I went beyond my means I guess you can say, to make sure no matter
where I went, no matter who I met, or came in contact with me, I did what I could
do, to place a smile on their faces. I did everything they wanted me to do , no
matter what I had to do, needed to do or wanted to do. All I cared about was making
people happy, because you never know when the last time you would see them, after
all I truly thought that this was what God wanted me to do and to be.
I dropped everything, wifely duties, taking care of myself I dropped
that, because of doing for others, heeding to their beckon call, I really thought I
was to be and how I was to be, what God wanted me to be.
My family has taken many years from me of peace, harmony, time with
God, personally my health has gotten bad, always sick and worn out, never enough
time to get over something to be fully recovered, I was always trying to be there
and help all who needed me, but it has gotten to me emotionally, always stressed.
mentally stressed out, trying to be there for there every whim. I mean every whim,
their arguments, their fussing, their hatred for each other, backstabbing, their
lying on each other, the selfishness, jealousy, cheating on their spouses, I mean
everything in which was dragging me down so far, I just wasn't caring anymore,
about me and my life. I went through everything in which one can go through with
When I wrote this I was 50 years old, as I mentioned I am 51 now,
when it first started when I think I was 17 or 18, when I got my license I guess,
and now I have lost a home based business which I started in 1998 (Adsheet--- where
home business owners could advertise their home based businesses and offers they
had) I designed websites, etc was still learning back then, with all members to
them, because my family kept me so stressed out , it really got me so depressed and
angered because so matter how many times, I have told them, I have a home based
business I have to take care of, it didn't matter to them and to this day it
doesn't, so I dropped again all my business websites, because I have no time, no
desires left in me to try any longer.
I knew in my heart that God gave those talents to me, and for a
reason, and it was like noone cared, I lost 3/4's of my business then and now I
have just given them all up, and letting them expire, because I don't have time for
them anymore. I have lost so much of me, and trying so hard to get it back, I have
become so stressed out then, I made major mistakes, and to where I lost sight of
how I was to really be and act.
I truly thought I was being all I could be and do what I was supposed
to do, like God wanted me to do and be, but I did not know what I know now, on how
to get it stopped until I read this in Joyce Meyers bible I have, I have learnt so
much, that I really wish I knew all this before years ago.
And, if only I knew then what I know now, I would've never let it get
as far as it had gotten me, things surely would've been different and things
would've went better than they did. I would have had more energy, more joy, not
depressed all the time, I would be better spiritually, mentally, emotionally.
Moses, was a man with many things to do and going into I was sort of
like him, I was a PEOPLE PLEASER. The Israelites came to him with
everything, everyday like my family did me, more than once a day.
He was wanting to please everyone, please the people which God placed
under him, he tries to meet all their needs to, like I tried to do with my
But, God told Moses, through his father-in-law, that his task was to
heavy for him, and the message came in loud and clear. "The thing
that you are doing is not good. You are not able to perform it all by
yourself." Exodus 18:17;18
Even though I am not in a ministry, I have been weary for years
trying so hard to please everyone in my family, even those not in my family. I did
it all, was a listener of trouble , hate, envy, jealousy, lying, you name it, I was
doing this, talked on the phone for hours and sometimes it didn't get anywhere,
depending on who it was.
I was trying to give good advice, and trying to be a peace maker, run
errands, when able copied things, printed things, I was the go between in
everything it seemed like, I have 5 sisters, and all been done wrong by some of
them, I have been hollered at, cursed, screamed at, ignored again you name it, it
was done to me, but yet I am still there for everyone.
I am not telling you all this as complaining, I am only letting you
know what kind of people pleaser I was and to an extent still am, to stop trouble
in my family. I have always hated saying "NO" and still do, but where my
mother comes in, NO I will say "YES" to.
I have to do what God wants me to do, no matter who it hurts, or how
mad they get, I had to learn this and no matter how people make you feel, in any
kinds of circumstances, let them know that "YOUR GOD COMES FIRST."
We have to set Boundaries in our lives, and this is one of them. No
matter how much we love our families, we have to put our foot down , to create and
demonstrate the boundaries we have to place in our lives. STOP BEING AN ALL
PEOPLE PLEASER AND ALSO BE A GOD PLEASER!!!!!