Did You Know Boundaries Are Good?
Joshua 15:9, Tells after the children of Israel cam in and
possessed the Promised Land, they established wisely clear
boundaries. We can use their example to our own lives on setting
boundaries in our lives the healthy ones, these are goo for our
personal lives and in our relationships.
Joyce Meyers explains it well, I know this because I am a
witness and one who has had been done this way for so many
years. But, I truly didn't think I was doing anything wrong, I
thought I was just being a good person and doing what I felt the
Lord wanted me to do.
I thought I was doing my best to be a good
daughter, sister, wife, mother, aunt, cousin and niece you name
it I thought I was doing all I could to make sure people was
happy and that I was trying my best to be all I could be.
I know you have read where all I have had to give up, and stop
doing to always be there for people in my family and all I had
lost because I was being a people pleaser, not knowing it was a
wrong thing to do and be. To this day there is still an empty
void inside me, and I guess it's because my dreams I have never
gotten to accomplish, because of my family.
There is am empty place within my inner being and I call it
voided out, because I feel empty to an extent, and I try so hard
to think of everything which I may not have asked for
Joyce Meyers, gives a great example with a
fence, she says: 'Just as a person puts up a fence around their
property to keep children out, so you must establish limits and
margins ---- in visible lines you draw on your life to protect
yourself, from being used and abused.
If, you had a privacy fence around your yard and on a sunny
afternoon you looked out into your yard and saw your neighbor
sun bathing there while their children played on your swing set,
without your permission what would you do?
You certainly would not just say "Oh, my, I do wish these
neighbors, would leave me alone." You would probably inform
them maybe quite forcefully, that your yard was ---- off limits
to them for their leisure without your permissions. You need to
be just as lovingly forceful in letting people know you expect
them to respect the limits and margins you have established
around your personal life. (end of quote)
People Pleaser's, do not have limits or margins. In their
efforts to people , they push themselves beyond reasonable
limits and boundaries. Most people do expect others to do things
when they wasn't them done or go when they can't go somewhere,
it doesn't matter when we should do or cannot do what all they
want us to do right then and there.
People Pleaser's will push their way and beyond the boundaries
you have set, I know this because again, I thought I was doing
and being what I was to be and to do and for years I have been
unhappy in that area because I never had time for me, I just
wish I knew all this way before I found this out.
Don't get me wrong, my main goal has always been making people
happy, making them laugh and be blessed, to put a big smile on
their faces, to always be there for them, to lend an ear, to do
for them trying to show them Jesus' Love and compassion.
After, reading this and learning so much from this, I just
wonder now, did they really need my help, my advice, my ear, my
time I didn't actually have? I'm sure most of the time they did!
But sometimes people will take advantage of good people, that's
another story, but this past year or so, I have had to put my
foot down to all family members because I wasn't being able to
even spend time in my prayer room, not being able to start my
day right with the Lord.
I had to go as far as putting a
greeting on my phone, telling people, if you are calling to
fuss, and start trouble and cuss me out and scream and holler I
am not and will not answer my phone. Because I knew what day I
would have before I could even get started and tackle my day.
And, there were many many times I would get so upset and
frustrated because people in my part of the family didn't think
I had things to do, and get done that I was just supposed to
spend time on the phone listening to other's fuss and gripe
about things that was so trivial and that they should be leaving
up to God and not get me into it. I wanted and needed to spend
time with The Lord first thing in the morning.
Because of all
the hoo doo I eventually gave up any desires or the want to do
any-more home based businesses, they wasn't allowing me to get
any work done, and that is one thing that I feel so empty about,
because it was something I enjoyed doing.
The fussing and arguing, screaming and cursing and back-biting
gossiping etc. I just couldn't take any-more, this person can't
stand this one, and the other one can't stand that one we had to
even stop having family get together because of some that just
loved to make a scene or start something out at a restaurant or
something, just plain wrong.
My nerves just couldn't handle it any more I was told I had a
mini stroke living at my mother's, and we figured that the ones
whom was starting all the trouble and issues in the family would
finally see they needed to quit..... but no it seemed like it's
always going to be there.
So I finally made up my mind I am setting boundaries and I'm
sorry if people cannot understand why they have been made, but I
a doing all I can do to be a better person and until I make them
understand this girl here has had actually enough and those
boundaries will stand.
There is so many people who expect so much out of just one
person and I have learned boundaries are a good thing and we all
should keep and make them. I know my story is a little lengthy
but just to let you know that through everything we go through
in life, we have to set some kind of boundaries to get our lives
back on track.
We have to be the ones who makes them and it's our
responsibility to ourselves to keep them and make sure we stop
people from treating and crossing our lines and always treating
us so disrespectfully.
What are your Boundaries, have you made any, do you have those
in your life that treat you unfairly?
Clear CUT Boundaries, will help us keep ourselves in line and
protect us from people who are just those people who want no
more than to keep our lives out of line, and our attention to
only then and not the Lord.